PERFECTIONISM – We discuss WHY it blocks you and offer some techniques to address the issue…

EPISODE 46) In this fresh edit rebroadcast of our January LIVE webinar (“Perfectionism: Why It Blocks You…”), we discuss why people obsess over perfectionism, the impact of striving to attain the unattainable, and some strategies to make your creative life easier. We are joined on-screen by writer David Corbly with contributions from author Betsey Kulakowski and writer Emily Tucker via chat. Bob and Liz both pop in to type, “Hello.” 🙂

WRITE YOUR OWN CALL TO ACTION Oops, we forgot to do the CALL TO ACTION! So, let’s turn the lack of lemons into lemonade! Write Your Own Call To Action and then submit it here by replying under this video. Write whatever you want, base it on something we talked about in this episode. Keep it to around 100 words. We’ll read them on the show if we have time. Have fun.

OUR HOSTS AND DAVID GET OUT OF THEIR BUBBLE

Emily has a virtual game night. Because community.

Jon Meyers eavesdrops on an unhoused gentleman and witnesses a fantastic positive mindset.

David Corbly speaks at a wonderful writing retreat in Branson, Missouri for the Ozark Writer’s League.

YOU RESPOND

Liisa Walimaa says thanks.

BIG IDEA: Perfectionism — Why It Blocks You and How To Address It

WHY MIGHT YOU BE A PERFECTIONIST?

1. Perfectionists often label themselves as perfectionist ‘

2. Perfectionists can have a fear of failure – and then excuse it as their motivator

3. Perfectionists have a need for control

THREE TYPES OF PERFECTIONISM

1. Self-oriented perfectionism

2. Other-oriented perfectionism

3. Socially-prescribed perfectionism

JON MEYERS’S TECHNIQUES THAT MAY HELP (via citations below)

Underlying Principles:

i. Don’t Let Perfect Be The Enemy of Good

ii. Focus On The Donut, Not The Hole –David Lynch

1. Timeslot Your Writing, Just as You Timeslot Your Household Chores

2. Deadlines Are Great Motivators

3. Only Do Things You Are Good At

EMILY’S TECHNIQUES THAT MAY HELP (via https://caps.umich.edu/content/coping-perfectionism )

Underlying Principles:

i. Athletics v. Writing – Look at the early stages of either as training.

ii. Figure Out Why — Healthy v. Unhealthy Goal Setting

1. Do Things That Are Realistic

2. Do Things You Enjoy

3. SMART Goal Setting

Specific

Measurable

Achievable

Realistic

Timely

Jon Meyers prefers the term objectives over goals, because (as we discuss on the podcast routinely), keeping a “journey before destination” mindset is very valuable.

#HEYEVERYONE (Hey what happened to #HeyJonMeyers?)

Emily remembers to teach all of us about functional forgetting. https://www.nature.com/articles/nrn218

WEEK FOUR OF WHY IS THIS BABY CRYING?

Jon Meyers teaches Emily yet another reason her child might be crying. Actually the intention is to increase awareness of reasons other children have cried so that Emily can avoid these situations once her child is born.

THE FINAL ACT: BUILD THE PERFECT STORY

Everyone present contributes pieces to an outlandish story involving… Well, you’ll have to see for yourself.

#writingpodcast #writerscommunity #writinginspiration #writingadvice #perfectionism #mentalhealth #community #amwriting

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STUDIES & ARTICLES CITED

Three types of perfectionism article – https://www.psychologytoday.com/us/basics/perfectionism

Tips for overcoming perfectionism article – https://caps.umich.edu/content/coping-perfectionism

Mental health and perfectionism – https://www.apa.org/monitor/nov03/manyfaces

Also… Frost, P. L. (1990). Perfectionists label themselves: Perfectionism, self-esteem, and self-criticism. Journal of Social and Clinical Psychology, 9(3), 324-346. https://doi.org/10.1521/jscp.1990.9.3.324

Hewitt, P. L., & Flett, G. L. (1990). Perfectionism and the construction of the self. Journal of Social and Clinical Psychology, 9(3), 347-362. https://doi.org/10.1521/jscp.1990.9.3.347

Shafron, D., & Mansell, W. (2001). Fear of failure and its relationship with perfectionism. Behavioral and Cognitive Psychotherapy, 29(3), 273-286. https://doi.org/10.1017/S1352465801003016

LINKS BETSEY KULAKOWSKI’S BOOKS https://amzn.to/4jDT7BD

BETSEY KULAKOWSKI’S WEBSITE https://www.authorbetseykulakowski.com/

OUR LINKS

AFFILIATE LINKS:

Enjoy Greg Pembroke’s Reasons My Kid Is Crying by purchasing it here: https://amzn.to/3WGmYzB

Order our book here: Emily Brooks and Jon Meyers, WRITE ANYWAY: ⁠https://amzn.to/4erbV3G⁠

⁠Order Gourmet Desserts shipped straight to your door from Drip Confections… https://dripconfections.com?sca_ref=6525184.0Dv4JzbUdyW7aj.

Our Bookshop… https://bookshop.org/shop/write-better-together

Our Patreon… https://www.patreon.com/WriteBetterTogether

CONNECT WITH US:

www.instagram.com/WriteBetterTogether⁠⁠

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CONNECT WITH EMILY BROOKS:

www.emilybrookswriter.com⁠⁠

www.instagram.com/EmilyBrooksWriter⁠

www.facebook.com/EmilyBrooksAuthor⁠

CONNECT WITH JON MEYERS: ⁠

www.jonmeyersscripts.com⁠⁠

You can contact David Corbly at OpenDoorCreations.com for all your website creation and/or website upgrading needs.